What If?

Later, I have to ask my father some questions. We need to make contingency plans. These won’t be comfortable questions. Last week’s appointment ended with papers being marked ‘urgent’. Not so urgent he needed instant admission to hospital, but the widened eyes of the medical staff involved widened my own.
I had hoped it wouldn’t be connected to Myeloma, but it looks like there’s a high chance it is.

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The Next Appointment

Tomorrow, I will go with my father to hospital.

It could be nothing serious. A minor thyroid problem, perhaps. But it doesn’t look like nothing.
He’s not in pain. He’s not feeling ill, or over-tired or any other noticable effects. The doctors who looked at it had him X-rayed and appointments were made, but there was no urgent rush to get him to a hospital. This should be a relief. But, to look at it… Just at the base of his neck and the top of his chest, a lump emerged almost overnight that measures eight inches one way, ten inches another, and sticks out enough to be clearly visible under clothing like a balled fist under his flesh. The doctors didn’t seem too worried, but I’ve been deluding myself that I’m not terrified.

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Running From One Year To The Next, Screaming.

So it’s 2012 already. How did that happen? It seems to be mostly a blur; shell-shock from what came before, perhaps? But it had ups as well as downs this time, rather than downs and ohmygodno’s. Eager as I was to leave 2010 behind, escaping its shadow was never going to be that simple. So what do I have to say for 2011? Well, as far as snappy blogs go… er… yeah get a cup of tea in.

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Father’s Day

A face lined with grooves, the equivalent of the rings in a tree trunk, when he doesn’t move he looks as old an a gnarled oak. In motion, he is far more. He is alive. And however I feel when I look at him now, I must always remember that, because it could have been different.

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Dear 2010

Dear 2010,

I feel it is only right to send you this letter, we’ve not met face to face, and this will be the last time I have any interaction with you.  I think you will understand that I am very comfortable with this fact, as – to say the least – we have not got along.

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Sick As In Sick

So my dad is pretty awesome.
As in unwell.
Sorry, still being childish from the last blog post.
After making such good progress, this last month has seen far more bad days for him than good.
A few weeks back he was walking without stick or zimmer, I’d get up and he’d have brought the milk in from outside, done the dishes, he’d be alert and upbeat.
But for the last fortnight he’s been sluggish, dazed, unable to walk steadily without his stick and frighteningly similar to how he was in hospital.
We called the doctor out and it looks like he’s picked up an infection. The chemo is leaving his already fragile immune system a mess, despite how low a dosage he’s on. She’s put him on a course of antibiotics, so here’s hoping they get him back on track.

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Progress

Wow.  There’s good news.

I don’t watch the news. It’s depressing, despair-cultivating garbage where ratings take precedence over reporting.  But right now I’m glued to it.  Not satisfied with turning my head from the PC to the TV, I’ve got the live feed on the screen alongside this window.  I’m of course watching the Chilean miners being rescued.  I hope you are, too.

This wasn’t what I was supposed to be blogging about, though.
There was good news here, too, you see.  Yesterday, we lost the zimmer.

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He’s Going The Distance

So I listened to Cake today for the first time in a long time.  Years, in fact.

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NHScapades

Ugh.

So today has been frustrating to say the least. Thanks, NHS.

Dad had to go back to Heath Hospital. Not for anything serious, but he had to be assessed by the doctor for the next month’s treatment; to reduce/increase/add to his prescribed medication and to administer a treatment to strengthen his bones.  This infusion was meant to last 20 minutes.  In all, though we were anticipating a wait, we thought we’d be in there two hours max.

Nope.
Try six.

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Oscar Acceptance Speech

Oceansize‘s fourth album came out yesterday. It’s excellent despite being their weakest.
See them live whenever you can, what I liked on album blew my mind live. They played in Cardiff Barfly and made it sound like a stadium.
I like this song so much I want to spread the beauty and luckily one Youtube naughty person has helped me 😀

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